Popped My Cherry ! ! !

I was a "Black Friday" virgin...until...

[insert scary movie music - "reek-reek-reek-reek"]

it was the most painful experience of my life!!!

...and I've had two kids, been thrown from numerous horses, kicked by a mule (twice), grew up being the only girl in the family...I've had one broken bone & numerous black eyes....I'm not what you would call a "girly-girl"...but that was the worst experience of my life....by far...

I thought "It's only shopping...how bad can it be?"

OH MY GAWD!!!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!!! NEVER, EVER, EVER!!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!

T r a d i t i o n ! ! !

Time to watch me some "Planes Trains and Automobiles"

Hope ya'll had a wonderful holiday weekend and made some beautiful family memories...

Missed you Mr. Give...look'in forward to some pillow-talk...SG

Glass Half Full...

Stupid Lug nuts...Jumped up and down on the four-way and still couldn't bust'em loose...Had to use the old "Damsel in Distress" card...

On the upside...
I did learn to use the hydraulic jack AND the mondo compressor!!! SWEET!!!

...speaking of feeding time...

Come on "Rocky"

I'm Ready To Rumble!!!

I am now "ONE" with the "COON"

I went shopping with my daughter last weekend and didn't get home until 9:30pm. Man were the animals pissed. They were standing out at the barn tapping their hooves and checking the time...I was late for feeding. So, rather than do something sensible like stop at the house to change clothes and get a weapon just in case a varmint was about...I drove strait to the barn, shined the car headlights into the breezeway and got to work. I fed the horse and the mule, got into the second feed barrel to take care of the dogs and cats, was just locking the lid down when I heard a ruckus right above my head...(a little too early for Santa)...it sounded like a board was coming down on my head...before I could look up to see what the ruckus was...something hit me smack on the head, RIGHT ON MY FREAK'IN HEAD PEOPLE...it rolled onto my left shoulder, down my arm and came to a thud at my feet...it was the biggest raccoon I had ever seen...
Needless to say...the coon & I puddled at the same time, same place...
We just got 12 guineas which are cooped up in the East side of the barn...the raccoon was scaling a board that runs along the top of the wall dividing the rooms on the West side of the barn, the board runs out into the breezeway approx. 18" then stops for some stupid reason...I happened to be standing right under the end of the board when the raccoon walked right off the end of it, falling to certain death if not for my hard head breaking it's fall...my Indian name shall now be…
“Saving Coon@ss“…or…”Coon Catcher”…or maybe…“Cavorting With Coons”

B O O B I E S ! ! !

Happy Turkey Day Mr. Give!!!

Here's a "Boobie" shot just for you!

Loving & Missing You...SG xxxooo

...& your thinking...

YEA!!!!

No Munster Kitty Post....

Rest Assured....

"It" is still among us...

Hey Now...

Today I was told that I reminded someone of a "Hey Now" pix on Liberal Weenie's website...that left me very confused...was that a compliment?....or am I a slut?????

I HATE DIAL UP!!!

I've been kicked off 3 times within the last hour...

I'm growing old sitting here, waiting to connect,
waiting to download, losing precious moments...

I had a great story to share with you about my weekend...but nevermind...

I've had it...can't standz no more...LATER!!!

Green Acres Is The Place To Be....Farm Liv'in Is The Life For Me...

Bzzzzzzzz

...those mixer trucks with the swirl painted on the tank, make me smile...

OK, so I'm easily amused!!!

...is her stinger protruding?

Careful...you'll put your eye out!

What Tha?!?!?!?

...a Miracle Bra can only do so much...

I would sue for false advertising!!!

...and whats with all the wire hangers in the closet?

Mommie Dearest will be very upset...

Frozen Puss Pop...

...doesn't this ferocious feline know that this is the wrong time of year to get booted outside? I know what you are thinking...you are thinking...enough about the kitty, OK? Well easy for you to say...YOUR not being stalked in your own home, 24/7...by a fur-ball of fangs and claws...from the moment you wake up in the morning, you attempt to get from the bed to the facility in your bare feet...minding your own business...and all of a sudden fangs and claws attack you out from under the bed...then chase you from room to room as you try to get ready for work...then greet you as you come home from work tired and worn out, slashing & clawing...as I'm trying to relax and eat dinner, I'm being attacked from all sides....I'd swear that there is more than one of them in this house...right now, as I type, I am sitting in the lotus position in a chair not meant to be sat in like that...trying to keep my appendages out of striking distance..."Its" the devil incarnate I tell ya...
MR. GIVE, YOU SOOO OWE ME!!!

Late to Work This Morning!

...guess why!!!

Precious,

pantyhose

and flowing skirt...

DON'T MIX!!!

I'm No Angel...

I absolutely hate Victoria Secret models!!

Freak'in anorexic biotechs, I'm sure they are total nut jobs to live with.

Deprived of normal people food must put them in the foulest moods.

You would have to reserve mirror time in that house, you know they are always checking themselves out in every mirror, all day, every day...practicing their sappy "come hither" faces and their "I'm too sexy for this photo shoot expressions...blah, poo, yuck...

All that to say...the new Christmas catalog has arrived!!!! YEA!!!

I will place it strategically in the house (under the remote control or in the bathroom) where Mr. Give can't miss it, nor my subtle notations in the margins....heeheehee

Mr. Give Came...

...home for the weekend....

and boy is my arm tired!!!

I'll work out for our next bout...your @ss is mine!!!

...Son, you're wearing a panty on your head...

I've always wanted to say that!!!

Now you two settle down in there and get to bed...you've got school tomorrow! Kids...

"Precious" is Getting De-Clawed - NOW!!!

...and I'm not talk'in a trip to a veterinarian’s office where they have antiseptic, antibiotics and drugs...I'm talk'in right here - right now!!!
With a pair of leather gloves for me and a pair of pliers for "It"...

"It" DOSN'T shred the Mommy's skin, or else "It" get's the hose again!!!

Someone call the Fashion Police - Quick

Fashion Faux Pas...Guilty! My daughter would have totally disowned me today...I wore black boots, dark blue dress pants, a black camisole with a short black jacket. I was told numerous times that I looked nice, but the more I thought about it, I bet everyone thought that I got dressed in the dark!

Hairball from HELL!!!

OK Seriously...I'm going to have to name this thing soon because the names I am calling it would make my GranMa break out the soap...I can't call him "Precious" because the barn cats (aka: the Bloods) will kick his furry little behind! I brought one of the pasture kitties (aka: the Krips) [a sweet little girl that was a really good mama before we got her fixed] into the house to see if she would adopt this fluffy little feline...one look at each other and they both puffed up like a couple of blow-fish and started hissing and spitting, doing the sideways, I'm so going to kick your ass dance...so the Krip kitty got booted outside and it's just me and the hell-ion...This creature thinks that I'm it's Mama...and this kitty's got claws...Last night I was laying on the couch, talking on the phone while the mini-monster was clawing its way up and down the length of me with such glee that it wasn't even aware that it was me that was responsible for it landing on the other side of the room so suddenly...So I take a trip to Wally World today and spend $40 in stupid kitty toys to occupy this creature’s energy...but no...as I type, the tiny terror is pouncing upon my back, attacking my toes, or climbing my leg...by the time Mr. Give gets home this weekend...I may surprise him with a new recipe...Kitty-On-A-Stick!!!

Legal LSD ! ? ! ? ! ?

Salvia Divinorum: Is the strongest natural hallucinogen known to man and it's LEGAL in the State of Texas, all you have to do is find an 18 year old to purchase it on your behalf, oh and the salvia website suggests that you have a "sitter" or responsible person present to keep an eye on your trip'in ass and to remove all sharp objects from your direct vicinity...just lay back and enjoy...Parents be warned and educate yourselves!!! Seriously!!! Yikes!!! I've turned into such a kill-joy!!! Really, it's OK if you want to do it...just keep it away from the amateurs...I mean, the youts...

Let the "Fellowship" Begin...

...everyone turn and greet your neighbor...could be a little creepy at the Fellowship Church in Grapevine next Sunday. This weekend kicks off their "Seven Days of Sex" campaign. I'm afraid that my creative imagination might run amuck during Sunday service and sexually vivid visuals of my fellow pew mates would start dancing through my head...the last thing I want to visualize during my Sunday morning service experience is Old Widow Jenkins in her granny panties...I'm afraid that my running screaming from the building might disrupt the services...a therapist's feeding frenzy...

Veterans Day

...the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month...

In honor of all the ones to serve this wonderful nation, your selflessness and sacrifices are not taken for granted or forgotten.

We are forever indebted...stand proud!

Thank You!!!

Success!!!

"Precious" has found and correctly used the litter box!!!'

Whoo-Hoo!!!

What a glorious day!!!

Now if I can just keep "it" from playing with the computer cords...

Stupid Kitty!!!

Sooo...

...how did you spend your Saturday night?

Mr. Give is still away on business so I spent my Saturday night alone...comforting our new little bundle of joy!!!

No, not that kind of bundle!

We are the proud parents of a 5 week old bob-tail kitten! Cute little fella but boy is he vocal..."Precious" is sleeping at the moment, worn out from keeping my ass up all night!

Believe me; I wake "Mr. Precious" up every opportunity I get...little shit!

Official Democratic Doggie Debate

Barack Obama has promised that he will adopt a dog for his daughters when they move into the White House. Why does the "1st Family" always include a dog? Don't get me wrong, I am sooo a dog person...but we never hear about the "1st Ferret", or the "1st Goldfish", the "1st Hamster", the "1st Pony", the "1st Parrot"....(could be interesting if it were a talking parrot)...

OK--Enough of the Political BS

Time to stop being the proverbial
"Turd in the Punchbowl"...

It's Friday night...
I'm thankful that I have a job...
a wonderful Mr. Give...
a loving family and the freedom to voice my humble opinion
without fear of losing my head (literally)...
we live in a great country &
how much damage can one man do in four years...

Sorry 'bout that....I digress...

back to the Friday night, weekend mode...




Celebrate Good Times...

Whoo-Hoo....da,da,da,da,da,da,da

(oh, now thats just not right) heeheehee

Rolling Over...

That wasn't an earthquake....that was our fore-fathers rolling over in their graves...they really worked hard on the Constitution of the United States...
it was written in black & white... not Red like OHB's politics...

Democratic Line Dancing...

'nuff said...





or maybe your into syncronized skating...

same thing, only different...ye gads!!!

Oprah Leaves a Slug Trail...

...along with the rest of the zombies under the influence of the BHO Kool-Aide, strait to the White House. A slip-and-slide right into the Liberal Lake of Lackers Legitimacy and Entitlement...I think I'm going to be ill.

Fall Back...

Don't forget to set your clocks back 1 hour or you will be sitting in church all by yourself tomorrow morning....or an hour early for the football game...or an hour early for NASCAR...or an hour early for work...(God Forbid)...or just sleep in...zzzzzzzzzzz

Be Vewy, Vewy Quiet...

Opening Day!!! This is me in my nine point Halloween costume sneaking up on the local passed-out hunter and consuming all of the left-over Halloween candy he brought for breakfast!!! Guess I caught him in the middle of a major sugar crash...I love me some of them candy corns!

Another Leach on the Buttocks of America...

Sighting Report: O'Bummer's Aunt living illegally in the city of Boston (shown here scouting local pic-a-nic baskets) living in public housing of all places...she was to be deported in 2004 - O'Bummer claims that he has not had any knowledge of her living situation although she visited him and his family in Chicago nine years ago, attended his "swearing in" ceremony to the US Senate in 2004 and has donated $260 to his presidential campaign fund, which illegal’s are not legally allowed to do. For a person so in touch with the American people...he can't seem to stay in touch with his own family. Someone call an Exterminator!!!